Dislikes and Likes – A Homecoming

October 20, 2011

Ten things that I am not looking forward too about coming home…

1.  Sport taking up 1/3 of the news.
If only so much press could be given over to culture – what a wonderful nation we would be!  In the UK sport is seen on sports channel, not rammed down my throat in every evening news bulletin.

The Globe

2.  Tax
The Aussie tax thresholds are way higher than the UK and in the Middle East there is almost no tax – the first pay slip will hurt.

3.   Cockroaches
I spent 6 years in the UK and NEVER saw a cockroach.  I could widen this and include snakes and spiders, but I go by the theory of you are ok outside, but come in the house and you are dead.

4.   Yob Factor
Slightly different to CHAV factor.  Waddo in his flannie and thongs drivin’ his ute and playing Barnsey.  Ewwwwww!  Shazza in her boob tube, white stilettos, marabou feathers and fascinator pissed on West Coast Cooler at the races.  Noice!

5.   Parochial Outlook
The belief that Australia is a big game player in the International community, I have news – we are not!  The only time you hear about Australia in foreign news is when a backpacker goes missing or someone is eaten by a shark.

Yokine Bowling Club

6.   Liberal Party.
I want Tony Abbott gone.  I pledge to join and become an active member of The Australian Greens as soon as I am settled – I’m still in mourning for Meg, Natasha and my beloved Democrats.

7.   Bank Charges
Evil, evil, evil.  I have not been charged for an ATM withdrawal (apart from when abroad) or an ‘Account Keeping Fee’ since leaving in 2004.

8.   Commercial tele
The thought of watching Seven or Nine makes me want to puke, Ten at a push.  Thanking the goddesses for ABC and SBS – you will be my sanity and long may Aunty reign (mitts off Mr Abbott).

9.   Cost of petrol.
I have been paying QR0.85 per litre, that’s 23cents folks!

10.   The Gay Marriage Issue
Why the ALP is against this breaks my heart.  The year is 2011, some people are gay – get over it and stop the discrimination.

However these are eclipsed by the 1000’s of things that I love.

To name a few…

  • Larrikin spirit
  • The bush
  • The sea
  • Rivers
  • Oceans

Wonderful Wild Ocean

  • Alternative culture
  • Bob Brown
  • Mardi Gras
  • ABC
  • SBS
  • Black cockatoos heralding the rain
  • Middle class egalitarianism
  • Clover Moore
  • Compulsory voting
  • Recycling
  • The Carbon Tax
  • Magda Szubanski
  • Rainforest

Never Never Creek

  • North Bondi
  • The ANZAC Dawn Service
  • Watching two-up on ANZAC Day
  • Lamington Drives
  • Tidy towns
  • ‘Not happy Jan’
  • Byron Bay lighthouse at sunset

Byron Bay Lighthouse

  • The CWA
  • All those lovely merino sheep
  • Bush doofs
  • Crab circles in the sand

Clarkes Beach - Sand that squeaks and crab circles.

  • Cold beer
  • Meat pies
  • Swimming under waterfalls
  • Vanessa Wagner
  • BYO restaurants
  • The Opera House & Sydney Harbour on a sunny day

Sydney Harbour from Dover Heights

  • Country Markets – Mullim and Byron & Bello
  • Marsupials – possums in my roof
  • George Negus
  • Kerry O’Brien
  • The Oxford
  • Bright plastic money
  • Citrus trees in the backyard
  • Bad Dog (Drayton & Gaspar)
  • Kangaroo Paw
  • ‘Cool banana’
  • Summer thunderstorms
  • Pink and grey galahs
  • Combi’s
  • Ruth Cracknell (RIP)
  • Calling chooks, chooks

Pot's Chooks (Bello)

  • SMH and Good Weekend
  • Meat tray prizes at pub raffles
  • Baz
  • Saturday brunches
  • The one finger driving nod

Stop/Go - Pacific H'way

  • Musk life savers
  • Tim Minchin
  • Solitary beaches with white sand that squeaks

White's Beach

  • Acknowledging original Aboriginal land owners
  • Calling thongs, thongs – what’s a fucking ‘flip-flop’?
  • Anti-discrimination laws
  • The Taree Bypass
  • BBQ’s
  • Eucalypts

Eucalypt

  • Judith Lucy
  • JJJ
  • NSW National Parks
  • The 7.30 Report
  • Seeing The Southern Cross in the night sky
  • The dawn chorus heralding in the day
  • Non secular schooling
  • Gravel roads
  • Big stuff – prawn, bananas, pineapples, sheep…
  • Sarah Blasko
  • Sydney botanical gardens – ‘please walk on the grass’
  • Summer  Christmas  – the irony of cooking a turkey in 38deg heat
  • Jelly tips
  • ‘Rage’
  • Tim Winton
  • Sand dunes
  • Buying fruit from the side of the road
  • Camping with dingoes by the sea
  • Fields of sugar cane

Canefields

  • Cicadas
  • Samboy BBQ chips
  • The Freo Doctor
  • Morton Bay figs
  • Peter Carey
Glenifer Church - 'Oscar & Lucinda' is based on this

Glenifer Church - 'Oscar & Lucinda' is based on this

  • Whale watching from the beach
  • Drive through bottle shops – a slab in the boot of the car
  • Twin-poles (red and orange ones)
  • The DNA lookout at Kings Park
  • Beer gardens – schooners, jugs and midi’s
  • Quokkas
  • ‘No wuckers’

Kooka

and of course the sound of kookaburras at sunset.

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3 Responses to “Dislikes and Likes – A Homecoming”

  1. RosMadeMe Says:

    Oh Peta, I hope you have a fab trip home… I miss seeing you open your mum’s gift parcels which arrived at odd times in the year… that’s interesting, but what is it and why?

    I want a pic of your new house posted once you have found it, a pic of your sheep (sorry chooks just do not cut it) and a pic of you sat on the verandah spinnning.

    Travel safely and arrive happy xxxxx

  2. Kelly Says:

    I am SO with you Pete! Have a great home coming. Let’s hit the beach then have a beer. Clancy’s Fish Pub at City Beach – bogan free zone.

  3. Don Hurley Says:

    Awesome list, Peta! Didn’t know you were going home until I saw a FB post this morning about your kitty getting a new mom. Hope you enjoy your last few days in the UK and have a safe trip home.


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